I recently had my first working experience. I’d really like to know how people with social phobia deal with that. It was horrible. Ok, it’s just an internship, but still, I couldn’t stand more than 2 days. At the end of the second day, after holding my tears for more than 15 hours, I was petrified, nervous breakdown. The next morning, I called the company to tell them I wouldn’t come back. FAIL. It’s a terrible feeling to wake up early in the morning, scared like hell, go to work, spend to whole day there anxious, come back at night and go to sleep worried about the next day. Basically, I spent 2 days being anxious constantly and believe me or not, that was horrible. I managed to find another place and I started this morning. Everything went fine, but I feel really anxious and constantly stressed out. I guess I’m just gonna force myself to go every morning as long as I can handle the anxiety.
I’m worried about my future. Everything was fine before all this or at least it was under control. Now what? How am I going to be able to work like that? I don’t know.
Feel free to share with us how you guys did to start a new job with your social phobia. I’m really interested to know.
Lunatic Asylum 
Feb 01, 2010 @ 05:18:01
Grindog,
I just found this blog. It takes a lot of courage to confront your fears openly like this. Be proud of your progress – my worst fear is admitting that I have the issue in the first place (notice I didn’t use my name or real email).
Although I suffer from social anxiety – I admit mine is a bit different, and general social interaction I can often handle. I do know EXACTLY how you feel though when I have to face a certain _specific_ situations (eating, driving, speaking, swimming, bowling, etc.).
I haven’t found a solution to facing life’s fears, but my current strategy (when I don’t chicken out) is to face them directly. Usually this happens after weeks of worry that eventually turns to anger (because I’m worrying so much). This eventually turns to stubbornness, and sometimes I’m able cope with the situation (albeit while nearly shaking and totally sweating).
My recommendation: go to work. Every day keep a journal like your doing and on a scale of 1 (good) to 10 (very anxious) rate the experience. Keep fighting to lower your #’s and track your progress. I have been somewhat successful in some cases reducing anxitey to managable levels through sheer stubborness to give in.
Feb 01, 2010 @ 05:22:01
If that doesn’t work – look for a job where you can work alone (telecommute) _most_ of the time (not sure how easy that will be in this economy). You need social experiences every once in a while or it will make things worse I think (I find the less I do things – the more I fear them). However, this will let you function normally most of the time while allowing you to face your fears on special occasions.
Feb 02, 2010 @ 00:30:49
I’ll follow your recommendation. After one week working at this new place, I think I’m doing pretty well. I guess I just needed to find the right place for me. I realize that really small details can affect my anxiety, like the location of the place, the behavior of a colleague, the location of my office, the transports I have to take to get there,… Small things that can make me so scared to go to work.
Feb 02, 2010 @ 01:51:39
Glad to hear you found a place that works out. It is uncanny to hear you describe the details that affect your anxiety as I can relate 100% to all of those. I think that is one of the reasons I have not changed jobs in 8 years – I think subconsciously I’m scared of all those things and whether I’ll be able to handle it. My current location is somewhat “safe”, as I’m used to the expectations at this point.